I want to thank you, show my gratitude / My love, and my respect for you, I want to thank you / Oh, I want to thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you — Natalie Merchant, “Kind & Generous”

I recently ran the Detroit Marathon, and in conjunction, I raised money for the Detroit Community Cat Rescue. The day after the race, I wrote thank-you notes to everyone who donated. I knew my mom would love it, but I felt a little strange writing to guys from my basketball league. I had already revealed a little more of myself than typical by soliciting donations for my favorite people—kittens—and I worried that handwritten thank-yous would be another violation of masculine norms.

I was so wrong. Expressing gratitude to my friends and teammates, not only for their donations but also for their camaraderie, struck a chord. In fact, research on gratitude tells us that everyone, just like I had, overestimates how awkward giving thanks will be and underestimates the surprise and positive effect it will bring to others. Now I feel more bonded with those guys than ever before.

Read on to see how expressing gratitude can boost mental health in the face of adversity.